I'm Only 15-Months-Old, and I'm Already Getting Spam Comments

Look at this! Who would spam a baby's website? I'll have to tighten my security.

My Age (Actual and Relative) Is My Greatest Asset

I'm amazed by what I can get away with simply because I'm the baby of the family and because I am still (by some definitions) a baby. For instance, if Meyer were to dump out, say, an entire bag of Cheetos® or Tostitos®, mommy and/or daddy would blow up and Meyer would spend four or five minutes in timeout before being forced to say that he's sorry. When I empty an entire bag of snack food on the kitchen floor, by contrast, mommy and/or daddy just shrug, sigh, and get to work cleaning up—giving me the opportunity to get into other things that I shouldn't get into. Likewise, if Meyer were to purposefully squeeze GoGurt out all over himself, he'd get yelled at, sent to timeout, and coerced into apologizing. Me, I just get cleaned up and dressed in more comfortable clothes.

As a fourteen-month-old child, I'm entitled to the occasional mess. But living with a three-year-old who really should know better also helps. Until mommy and daddy have another baby (and let's hope they don't), I'll be the baby of the family. And as long as I can demonstrate that I'm substantially younger and less mentally mature than Meyer, I'm gonna get away with all kinds of stuff.

OK, I Give—I'm Gonna Walk

Reading

When I read, I read aloud:

I Can Walk, but I'm Not Going To

As you may have heard, I recently took my first steps. For weeks, people had been pressuring me to get up on two legs, as though my transition to toddlerhood wouldn't be complete until I walked upright.

Well, now that I've satisfied everyone's demands, I'm done. I can walk; I've proven that I can walk; and I'm not walking ever again. I'm much more comfortable crawling, and since crawling gets me where I need to go much faster than walking, I feel no compulsion to stand up and take steps. Further, if I start walking too much, mommy and daddy are going to force me to wear shoes. And I'm not down with shoes. So if you're waiting for a video of me toddling on two feet, you'll be waiting for a long time.

Watch Out!

I'm walking now. Stay tuned for further developments.

Learning to Walk

I've decided that I should learn to walk. Up to this point, I haven't been too worried about walking, because I can get everywhere I need to go by crawling and climbing. And crawling puts me face-to-face with any food that's happened to fall on the floor. (Floor food is the source of about one-third of my daily caloric intake.) But my cousin Sophie, who is only four days older than me, has been walking for over a month. Ever since she started walking, everyone's been pressuring me to get up on two legs. I guess I'll humor them. You can watch this video to check on my progress: